Have you ever had the sensation that you're being pulled in one direction by a force stronger than yourself, but you're compelled to push against it. Almost like when you ride the Tilt-A-Whirl at a Carnival, you're spinning and pulled to the outside of the spin, but you are trying to stay in your seat pushing against the centrifugal force.
This is how I live my life. So many times I push against the thing that I should be letting pull me. I fight, I rebel, I push. The thing is that centrifugal force is irresistible, you must eventually yield to it if you're going to enjoy the ride. I know this in my head. I know that if I yielded sooner I would enjoy more of the ride. And still I push against the pull.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Creativity...
What creativity really is...I've just been mulling this over in my mind, and wondering why I have no energy lately to create.
The dictionary definition of creativity is:
-noun
1. the state or quality of being creative.
2. the process by which one utilizes creative ability
I strive to be a diligent wife/mother/keeper-of-my-home and sometimes this means there is no mental energy left for me to pursue more personally gratifying endeavors. That is not to say that I don't derive a great deal of satisfaction from doing the aforementioned things well. It does, however, mean that there are days when I do not even begin to do those things that feel 'creative' to me.
As I was pondering these things I was struck with the idea that perhaps my view of creativity was too narrow. Maybe instead of being so focused on the tangible physical aspects of creativity, and therefore causing discontentment ro rear its ugly head, I ought to realize that creativity is also a part of how we approach the more intangible goals before us.
The reality is that each day my creativity, in my current phase of life, is more focused on raising my daughter to achieve her fullest potential. On loving my husband in such a way that he is genuinely built up and encouraged, and in creating a thoroughly peaceful atmosphere in my home through organization and love. In short my creativity is focused on being a reflection of Christ in my day-to-day living.
It is no wonder then that I don't often have the energy to create a collection of paintings, a sculpture, or some pillows. The reality is not that I don't have the energy to create but that my creativity is being expended in an even higher calling. I am focused on a deeper and more lasting end result, I strive for something of eternal value.
For it is not I who lives but Christ living in me, through me... I press on toward the prize, which is the high calling of God in Christ Jeaus.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
The dictionary definition of creativity is:
-noun
1. the state or quality of being creative.
2. the process by which one utilizes creative ability
I strive to be a diligent wife/mother/keeper-of-my-home and sometimes this means there is no mental energy left for me to pursue more personally gratifying endeavors. That is not to say that I don't derive a great deal of satisfaction from doing the aforementioned things well. It does, however, mean that there are days when I do not even begin to do those things that feel 'creative' to me.
As I was pondering these things I was struck with the idea that perhaps my view of creativity was too narrow. Maybe instead of being so focused on the tangible physical aspects of creativity, and therefore causing discontentment ro rear its ugly head, I ought to realize that creativity is also a part of how we approach the more intangible goals before us.
The reality is that each day my creativity, in my current phase of life, is more focused on raising my daughter to achieve her fullest potential. On loving my husband in such a way that he is genuinely built up and encouraged, and in creating a thoroughly peaceful atmosphere in my home through organization and love. In short my creativity is focused on being a reflection of Christ in my day-to-day living.
It is no wonder then that I don't often have the energy to create a collection of paintings, a sculpture, or some pillows. The reality is not that I don't have the energy to create but that my creativity is being expended in an even higher calling. I am focused on a deeper and more lasting end result, I strive for something of eternal value.
For it is not I who lives but Christ living in me, through me... I press on toward the prize, which is the high calling of God in Christ Jeaus.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Encouragement
en·cour·age
-verb
1. to inspire with courage, spirit, or confidence.
2. to stimulate by assistance, approval, etc.
3. to promote, advance, or foster.
Heb 10:24 - and let us consider how to provoke (spur on) one another to love and good works
-verb
1. to inspire with courage, spirit, or confidence.
2. to stimulate by assistance, approval, etc.
3. to promote, advance, or foster.
Heb 10:24 - and let us consider how to provoke (spur on) one another to love and good works
Monday, March 1, 2010
Organization...
- noun
1. the act or process of organizing
2. the state or manner of being organized
This is the goal, ultimately. For now I'm just disorganized:
- adjective
1. functioning without adequate order, systemization, or planning; uncoordinated
2. careless, or undisciplined; sloppy
To address this obvious disparity (I mean, who wants to be referred to as "uncoordinated, and sloppy"?) I am making some systematic changes to my life.
A small book with the recipes of meals we eat often. Enough for 31 days (think 24-hour photo book with 5x7 recipe cards in it). This solves the "what are we eating tonight?" problem. As well as the "what am I shopping for?" problem.
A "desk organizer" with a slot for bills, outgoing letters, pens, and miscellaneous (i.e. sticky notes, paper clips, thumb tacks, etc.). This solves the "where are the bills I was supposed to pay yesterday?" problem. It should also help with the "I wish we had an office" problem.
A small file box for any ongoing projects that we have (such as my editing, Jake's invoices, any job related receipts etc). This should help us solve the "why are there always piles of paper on the table?" problem.
Its a tall order when you consider that this is only one part of all that needs to be done. However, I've come to the conclusion that in order for our "castles in the sky" dreams, and hopes to be fulfilled we are going to have to buckle down, get organized, and dig into the "daily grind" of reality. Its a tough job but nobody else is going to do this for us. Being organized is going to be a major stepping stone to acheiving our future. So here goes...
"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving." Colossians 3:23-24
Saturday, October 10, 2009
I knit...
Okay so knitting is not on anyone's list of truly cool past-times, but I like it because it gives me time to think and feel productive at the same time. Plus it's helpful when you want to make your daughter a cute hat... at least I thought it would be, however that would take skill as well as time and, well, apparently I just don't have the skill.
If she had a little blue shirt and yellow pants she could work for travelocity as the gnome's body double, seriously the little red hat stands up off of her head and is about three times too big for her. I was going for the adorable too long stocking hat look, and ended up with an elf.
Hat number 2 (I failed so miserably the first time I figured it couldn't get any worse) looks like it was made as part of an Easter costume, for the rainbow colored Bunny... don't have pictures yet, but I will and I just might post them here because it seems that regardless of how I attempt to sabotage her my little darling is adorable anyway!
Update: to add insult to injury my mom came over and whipped up this darling little topper in just a couple of hours... as you can see she is definitely able to pull off any look!
If she had a little blue shirt and yellow pants she could work for travelocity as the gnome's body double, seriously the little red hat stands up off of her head and is about three times too big for her. I was going for the adorable too long stocking hat look, and ended up with an elf.
Hat number 2 (I failed so miserably the first time I figured it couldn't get any worse) looks like it was made as part of an Easter costume, for the rainbow colored Bunny... don't have pictures yet, but I will and I just might post them here because it seems that regardless of how I attempt to sabotage her my little darling is adorable anyway!
Update: to add insult to injury my mom came over and whipped up this darling little topper in just a couple of hours... as you can see she is definitely able to pull off any look!
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Lady Bug
****WARNING*********************************
THIS IS A SENTIMENTALITY ALERT, BE ADVISED THAT READING THIS POST COULD LEAD TO A SLIGHT SUGAR HIGH
************************************************
My little girl will be three months old this week
I think I might be obsessed with her
I spend lots of time looking at her, and praying for her
In the last three months life has altered
Things that used to be priorities are no longer
Instead of spending time on the internet
I sit and watch her face, and play with her hands
Rather than talking to my friends (so sorry to all)
I sit on the couch and talk to my girl
I don't care as much about hair/make-up/clothes
I have found a new standard of beauty
She changes daily and I revel in her continued growth
She smiles and reaches for things I'm amazed at how independent she has already become
Each day with her is a gift and I'm so grateful for it
THIS IS A SENTIMENTALITY ALERT, BE ADVISED THAT READING THIS POST COULD LEAD TO A SLIGHT SUGAR HIGH
************************************************
My little girl will be three months old this week
I think I might be obsessed with her
I spend lots of time looking at her, and praying for her
In the last three months life has altered
Things that used to be priorities are no longer
Instead of spending time on the internet
I sit and watch her face, and play with her hands
Rather than talking to my friends (so sorry to all)
I sit on the couch and talk to my girl
I don't care as much about hair/make-up/clothes
I have found a new standard of beauty
She changes daily and I revel in her continued growth
She smiles and reaches for things I'm amazed at how independent she has already become
Each day with her is a gift and I'm so grateful for it
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
My New Life
My life revolves around a baby now, yes, but really it's so much more than that she is now sharing my home (and my body even still).
In the past I may have had some things to do, errands to run, friends to visit, etc. I would select a time and do it. I was me without even thinking about it, I had my rythm and I knew how to send a text message, and could change the oil in my car if necessary, I could sit down with a book to read for a few hours, and even start and finish a sewing project in one day. All the while the laundry was being done, and I was organizing my kitchen/closet/attic/shed. I was able to move seamlessly from one thing to another without even stopping to eat (I have two hands I could eat on the go if need be).
Then I gave birth to my very own little leech.
Now after weeks of sporadic meals, the occasional trip to the store, and a deep desire to go to bed at 10:30 and get up at 7 without interruption as I strive to get back into the groove of 'real life' I find that I have an enormous obsacle in the form of a tiny person. I adore my daughter, but the reality is that what used to be effortless is now next to impossible, what was once seamless is now disrupted, and what was easy is now gone seemingly forever. I am not complaining simply regretting how easy it was to get out to the store when I didn't have to consider how long I had until I would have to nurse/diaper change again. There is the regular baby routine eat/wake/sleep which is spiced up by the unexpected completely inconsolable crying jag for no apparent reason.
The revelation of my new life is this: Babies do not just tuck into your pocket and come along for the ride while you live your life. It turns out that they are separate individuals, with their own rythm of life, which apparantly has to be decoded and then incorporated into the New Rythm of their parent's lives. It's not all about her, but it's not about me either...
In the past I may have had some things to do, errands to run, friends to visit, etc. I would select a time and do it. I was me without even thinking about it, I had my rythm and I knew how to send a text message, and could change the oil in my car if necessary, I could sit down with a book to read for a few hours, and even start and finish a sewing project in one day. All the while the laundry was being done, and I was organizing my kitchen/closet/attic/shed. I was able to move seamlessly from one thing to another without even stopping to eat (I have two hands I could eat on the go if need be).
Then I gave birth to my very own little leech.
Now after weeks of sporadic meals, the occasional trip to the store, and a deep desire to go to bed at 10:30 and get up at 7 without interruption as I strive to get back into the groove of 'real life' I find that I have an enormous obsacle in the form of a tiny person. I adore my daughter, but the reality is that what used to be effortless is now next to impossible, what was once seamless is now disrupted, and what was easy is now gone seemingly forever. I am not complaining simply regretting how easy it was to get out to the store when I didn't have to consider how long I had until I would have to nurse/diaper change again. There is the regular baby routine eat/wake/sleep which is spiced up by the unexpected completely inconsolable crying jag for no apparent reason.
The revelation of my new life is this: Babies do not just tuck into your pocket and come along for the ride while you live your life. It turns out that they are separate individuals, with their own rythm of life, which apparantly has to be decoded and then incorporated into the New Rythm of their parent's lives. It's not all about her, but it's not about me either...
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Transition
We are in the home stretch now...
Last night my sister and brother, and one of my friends came over and helped us get more settled into our home. There is so much to do, and I'm too tired to actually do it myself so I asked for help. We got curtains put up, and the baby 'changing table' set up, all of the baby gifts were catalogued, and duplicate gifts were put in a bin to be returned/regifted/sold. All of the Newborn - 3 month clothes are clean and put away waiting for our little one. The baby bed is set up, and our room is pretty well organized as is the bathroom. Jake and Jason got all of our attic storage into the attic (they both worked so hard to get it done, some of the bins were full of books and super heavy). This leaves me with the kitchen, and living room to finish before she comes... not much left out there except decorating and the last details of organizing. I told Jake that I'm really starting to feel like we actually live here which is good.
Even so everything is changing so fast I'm having a hard time keeping up.
I will be done at work on Friday.
Jake's last day at Crossroads is May 7th, and his first day at the new job is May 10th
My Dr hinted today at my 37 week check up that he thinks this baby is going to be a bit early (like maybe around the 6th or so) That's next week people!!
Even if she's on time or late we're only looking at maybe 4 more weeks at the most before she's here.
I'm going from full time office assistant to full time mom
One of the major events in the process of giving birth is Transition it's when you go from laboring to pushing the baby out. It's tough, in fact from what I hear it's the hardest part of the labor and delivery. Harder even than the pushing/delivery. The other day I said out loud that what I'm fearing is 'transition' but I wasn't talking about the stage in labor, I was talking about a stage of life. I'm kind of freaked out about transitioning from who I am now into this nurturing mother person that I'm supposed to just become. There are a lot of unknowns, a lot of change. Jake is ready, he's at peace and comfortable with what he has to do and become. I am not quite there yet... and right now I'm hoping that it will work itself out before I'm in transition with labor...
Last night my sister and brother, and one of my friends came over and helped us get more settled into our home. There is so much to do, and I'm too tired to actually do it myself so I asked for help. We got curtains put up, and the baby 'changing table' set up, all of the baby gifts were catalogued, and duplicate gifts were put in a bin to be returned/regifted/sold. All of the Newborn - 3 month clothes are clean and put away waiting for our little one. The baby bed is set up, and our room is pretty well organized as is the bathroom. Jake and Jason got all of our attic storage into the attic (they both worked so hard to get it done, some of the bins were full of books and super heavy). This leaves me with the kitchen, and living room to finish before she comes... not much left out there except decorating and the last details of organizing. I told Jake that I'm really starting to feel like we actually live here which is good.
Even so everything is changing so fast I'm having a hard time keeping up.
I will be done at work on Friday.
Jake's last day at Crossroads is May 7th, and his first day at the new job is May 10th
My Dr hinted today at my 37 week check up that he thinks this baby is going to be a bit early (like maybe around the 6th or so) That's next week people!!
Even if she's on time or late we're only looking at maybe 4 more weeks at the most before she's here.
I'm going from full time office assistant to full time mom
One of the major events in the process of giving birth is Transition it's when you go from laboring to pushing the baby out. It's tough, in fact from what I hear it's the hardest part of the labor and delivery. Harder even than the pushing/delivery. The other day I said out loud that what I'm fearing is 'transition' but I wasn't talking about the stage in labor, I was talking about a stage of life. I'm kind of freaked out about transitioning from who I am now into this nurturing mother person that I'm supposed to just become. There are a lot of unknowns, a lot of change. Jake is ready, he's at peace and comfortable with what he has to do and become. I am not quite there yet... and right now I'm hoping that it will work itself out before I'm in transition with labor...
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Cute Travel System
So we have received some really nice gifts for our little Luciana but didn't need them all. Considering the space we have to work with at home we took some things back and decided to use the money that we got back toward a travel system (car seat/stroller) for our little pumpkin.
This is what we got,
the Graco Metrolite...
(so light weight and manageable not to mention cute)...
It was on sale and between a 10% discount, the returned items, and the sale we ended up only spending $50 on this set (Normally over $250 before taxes!!!)!!!
I'm so excited...
This is what we got,
the Graco Metrolite...
(so light weight and manageable not to mention cute)...
It was on sale and between a 10% discount, the returned items, and the sale we ended up only spending $50 on this set (Normally over $250 before taxes!!!)!!!
I'm so excited...
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Easy...Hard
It's so easy to worry
It's so easy to forget God's faithfulness
It's so easy to think that I'm right
It's so easy to just go my own way
It's so easy to sin that it must be second nature
It's so hard to trust
It's so hard to just believe
It's so hard to surrender
It's so hard to follow
It's so hard to do what is right
There is no goodness in me that is my own, I can't claim it... because I know that if I had a choice I would pick the easy way...
It's so easy to forget God's faithfulness
It's so easy to think that I'm right
It's so easy to just go my own way
It's so easy to sin that it must be second nature
It's so hard to trust
It's so hard to just believe
It's so hard to surrender
It's so hard to follow
It's so hard to do what is right
There is no goodness in me that is my own, I can't claim it... because I know that if I had a choice I would pick the easy way...
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Jake
Can I just say that I am married to the most wonderful man in the whole world... I love him so much... and deserve him so little
Jake is a doer, a finisher, an extremely committed hard worker.
This month we have a lot of tasks that need to be accomplished and they are just preliminary to actually getting ready for the baby. We have to pack, paint, clean and move from our old apartment. We have to finish the bedroom, bathroom, living room, and kitchen (that is every room in the house) and move-in to the new place. All of this before we can start setting up a baby-friendly little home complete with all the baby gadgets (the necessity of which I am currently debating :o).
I am 7 1/2 months pregnant feeling every single one of my 30 weeks and knowing it is going to continue down hill from here for me physically.
All of this ends up meaning that Jake (the doer/finisher/committed-hard-worker) has a lot of pressure on him to do-finish-work hard. He is exhausted and yet gets up every morning goes to work for anywhere from 8-12 hours, comes home from work every night and helps me with basic normal house work, as well as the extra stuff of packing, organizing, and pitching the things we own, or he goes over to the house and works til the wee hours of the morning laying tile, setting cabinets, shopping for appliances, and generally getting all the little details in place for the house to be ready to move into.
Like I said I am married to the most wonderful man in the whole world... I love him so much... and deserve him so little
Jake is a doer, a finisher, an extremely committed hard worker.
This month we have a lot of tasks that need to be accomplished and they are just preliminary to actually getting ready for the baby. We have to pack, paint, clean and move from our old apartment. We have to finish the bedroom, bathroom, living room, and kitchen (that is every room in the house) and move-in to the new place. All of this before we can start setting up a baby-friendly little home complete with all the baby gadgets (the necessity of which I am currently debating :o).
I am 7 1/2 months pregnant feeling every single one of my 30 weeks and knowing it is going to continue down hill from here for me physically.
All of this ends up meaning that Jake (the doer/finisher/committed-hard-worker) has a lot of pressure on him to do-finish-work hard. He is exhausted and yet gets up every morning goes to work for anywhere from 8-12 hours, comes home from work every night and helps me with basic normal house work, as well as the extra stuff of packing, organizing, and pitching the things we own, or he goes over to the house and works til the wee hours of the morning laying tile, setting cabinets, shopping for appliances, and generally getting all the little details in place for the house to be ready to move into.
Like I said I am married to the most wonderful man in the whole world... I love him so much... and deserve him so little
Friday, February 13, 2009
Moving...
This seems to be the theme of my life right now in one way or another.
Jake and I are moving to a different home...
when I'm about 7 1/2 months pregnant
to a little house with a garage and a yard :o)
I am moving from the work-force to the stay-at-home-force
reducing our income (hence the need for aforementioned move)
increasing my time available to our daughter (and my husband-hopefully)
I am moving from wife to wife/mother
adding another person that I get to pour into
adding to the number of people I would die for
Lucy is moving
she's spent most of the week repositioning herself so she can kick new places
she has been kicking just above my belly button all day (the first time she's gone that far 'north')
There's a lot of moving going on lately...
mostly good, but none of it easy...
Just more reason to trust God
Jake and I are moving to a different home...
when I'm about 7 1/2 months pregnant
to a little house with a garage and a yard :o)
I am moving from the work-force to the stay-at-home-force
reducing our income (hence the need for aforementioned move)
increasing my time available to our daughter (and my husband-hopefully)
I am moving from wife to wife/mother
adding another person that I get to pour into
adding to the number of people I would die for
Lucy is moving
she's spent most of the week repositioning herself so she can kick new places
she has been kicking just above my belly button all day (the first time she's gone that far 'north')
There's a lot of moving going on lately...
mostly good, but none of it easy...
Just more reason to trust God
Monday, January 12, 2009
My Body
(According to My 17 Year Old Brother)
I'm past the 'awkward-is-she-isn't-she-bump' stage and now into the 'cute-baby-bump' stage...
Nice
Monday, January 5, 2009
baby news...
So we're having a little girl.
Of course Jake and I are both excited, and a little petrified.
Little girls are so precious, and tender and strong.
When you meet a woman with her head on straight,
passionate about life, and emotionally balanced
it is an amazing thing.
But how do you get her from a crying helpless little infant to that strong, balanced, passionate, yet gentle woman?
Obviously maturity is a process
and there are no guarantees that she will be this woman
when she leaves our home,
but we want to give her the tools
to be the best possible version of herself that she can be.
Understanding of course that God has to be at work in her
or we have nothing.
Now following Him (or not) is done in her sight
and she takes part in the consequences of our decisions.
That is probably the scariest part of all that we have to be sensitive to Him regarding our little girl, we have to follow Him for her sake, as well as our own.
God we beg your continued grace...
Of course Jake and I are both excited, and a little petrified.
Little girls are so precious, and tender and strong.
When you meet a woman with her head on straight,
passionate about life, and emotionally balanced
it is an amazing thing.
But how do you get her from a crying helpless little infant to that strong, balanced, passionate, yet gentle woman?
Obviously maturity is a process
and there are no guarantees that she will be this woman
when she leaves our home,
but we want to give her the tools
to be the best possible version of herself that she can be.
Understanding of course that God has to be at work in her
or we have nothing.
Now following Him (or not) is done in her sight
and she takes part in the consequences of our decisions.
That is probably the scariest part of all that we have to be sensitive to Him regarding our little girl, we have to follow Him for her sake, as well as our own.
God we beg your continued grace...
Monday, December 8, 2008
Changes
There are a lot of new things going on in my life. For the most part they are related to becoming a Mom for the first time; like feeling the baby moving but not being sure it was our little one; and having to adjust my eating and drinking habits; and needing all new clothes because mine aren't working; or planning the next year around the arrival of a little baby in our home; thinking about the future now has these wierd new facets that I can't ignore.
But some of it is because my job requires me to do things I've never done before like prepare budget spreadsheets for meetings; and explain why pastors do the things they do (without gossiping); being at church for half a day on Sundays; or placing huge office supply orders.
For the most part it's good stuff. A few things however are regrettable like the widening of my hips... I truly am not looking forward to how far apart they will become in the next months; or how little house work I seem to be able to get done anymore (and I know it is supposed to just get worse and worse); but by far the worst change is my mental capacity I am no longer able to remember family members names, and can't focus long enough to answer simple questions like, "should this come out of the oven now or in 2 minutes".
Yep things are changing, I guess some of it is supposed to change back but some things (i.e. my hips, or the brand new little person that will be here forever) are more permanent changes, and I'm just along for the ride... Adventure of a Lifetime Here I Come!!
But some of it is because my job requires me to do things I've never done before like prepare budget spreadsheets for meetings; and explain why pastors do the things they do (without gossiping); being at church for half a day on Sundays; or placing huge office supply orders.
For the most part it's good stuff. A few things however are regrettable like the widening of my hips... I truly am not looking forward to how far apart they will become in the next months; or how little house work I seem to be able to get done anymore (and I know it is supposed to just get worse and worse); but by far the worst change is my mental capacity I am no longer able to remember family members names, and can't focus long enough to answer simple questions like, "should this come out of the oven now or in 2 minutes".
Yep things are changing, I guess some of it is supposed to change back but some things (i.e. my hips, or the brand new little person that will be here forever) are more permanent changes, and I'm just along for the ride... Adventure of a Lifetime Here I Come!!
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Baby Stuff
Ok, so here I am pregnant and just like any other new experience for me I research it, read about it, check out the internet and ask lots of questions.
The major thing I am learning is this
Every woman is different. Every baby is different. Every pregnancy is different.
What this means for me is:
1) We're unique so I don't need to worry about if I'm the "right" size/shape/color (yep your skin can change color, crazy right?)
2) Nobody else in the entire world is having, or has ever had this exact same experience
3) I'm not going to be afraid about weight gain/loss; movement inside my womb; how the delivery will go; or all the other crazy fears that can attack the mind of a mommy to be
It's all a new wonderful miracle and God is perfectly in control.
And that is the truth that I will keep saying, and believing even when I wake up with nightmares about my baby dying, feel fat and ugly, look like a whale, can't find clothes to fit, don't feel my baby move for another 2 months, or whatever fearful, scary things that just naturally come along with this adventure (they're part of the package).
The major thing I am learning is this
Every woman is different. Every baby is different. Every pregnancy is different.
What this means for me is:
1) We're unique so I don't need to worry about if I'm the "right" size/shape/color (yep your skin can change color, crazy right?)
2) Nobody else in the entire world is having, or has ever had this exact same experience
3) I'm not going to be afraid about weight gain/loss; movement inside my womb; how the delivery will go; or all the other crazy fears that can attack the mind of a mommy to be
It's all a new wonderful miracle and God is perfectly in control.
And that is the truth that I will keep saying, and believing even when I wake up with nightmares about my baby dying, feel fat and ugly, look like a whale, can't find clothes to fit, don't feel my baby move for another 2 months, or whatever fearful, scary things that just naturally come along with this adventure (they're part of the package).
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Time...
Wow it's been a long time, a lot has changed, and a lot is still the same
I have a new job, I'm working as a church secretary and even though pastor's can be as demanding as doctor's my heart is different in this place. I know that I serve the good of the Body and I get more fulfillment when I serve the Body than almost anything else I do.
My desires for the future remain, and while Jake and I have so much that stands in the way of actually achieving the future we know that nothing is bigger than God and so we live with that hope.
I'm pregnant, by sometime next May I should be holding a little dependent life in my arms wondering what to do with it, and if I'm crazy for having wanted this challenge.
My husband loves me, as always ... his care, concern, and overall provision for us is such a blessing to my heart... his love inspires love in me... I think that is the most overwhelming thing about love. Genuine love when given inspires love to be returned.
My world has been shaken in a lot of ways in the last 6 months that are impossible to go into right now but I'm looking back on it with awe for what God has revealed of Himself in those months, and how He has made Himself real. I think the biggest thing has been that God's timing and mine almost never line up, but He's the boss and He knows when the timing is right in a much more fine tuned way than I ever could.
I have a new job, I'm working as a church secretary and even though pastor's can be as demanding as doctor's my heart is different in this place. I know that I serve the good of the Body and I get more fulfillment when I serve the Body than almost anything else I do.
My desires for the future remain, and while Jake and I have so much that stands in the way of actually achieving the future we know that nothing is bigger than God and so we live with that hope.
I'm pregnant, by sometime next May I should be holding a little dependent life in my arms wondering what to do with it, and if I'm crazy for having wanted this challenge.
My husband loves me, as always ... his care, concern, and overall provision for us is such a blessing to my heart... his love inspires love in me... I think that is the most overwhelming thing about love. Genuine love when given inspires love to be returned.
My world has been shaken in a lot of ways in the last 6 months that are impossible to go into right now but I'm looking back on it with awe for what God has revealed of Himself in those months, and how He has made Himself real. I think the biggest thing has been that God's timing and mine almost never line up, but He's the boss and He knows when the timing is right in a much more fine tuned way than I ever could.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Thursday...
Every change requires an adjustment.
One of the major adjustments to my "new" job has been the time that is involved. Spending between an hour and a half, and two hours a day on the road was a bit more than expected. The daily hours have ended up being more than I expected, and there have been some policies regarding lunch and breaks that have caught me off guard. All of this to say that my job has really worn me down, but the conclusion to all of this is that it's changing on May 8th.
I will now have every Thursday off.
And so I approach another adjustment.
One of the major adjustments to my "new" job has been the time that is involved. Spending between an hour and a half, and two hours a day on the road was a bit more than expected. The daily hours have ended up being more than I expected, and there have been some policies regarding lunch and breaks that have caught me off guard. All of this to say that my job has really worn me down, but the conclusion to all of this is that it's changing on May 8th.
I will now have every Thursday off.
And so I approach another adjustment.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
iPod ... Nano
My husband bought me a late birthday present...
It's a cute sea-foam green iPod nano...
He had it engraved with "our saying."
He also had it gift wrapped and waiting at the front door for me when I came home last night!
Love it!
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