my body

Ok, so I'm fat, maybe not the lady who can't walk or do anything because she's fat, but I am fat. I'm obsessed with it even more than babies (and just ask my husband that's quite the obsession). I may not need surgical intervention, but basic redirection is definitely in order. How did I get here? I used to be so good, I ate right, I was active, and I was not obsessive. It was the good life, and I looked good too. Is it just age, and the shifting metabolism? Or is my focus the thing that's shifted? I want to be healthy again, but I'm afraid after focusin on weightloss, and trying for over two years that it's never going to happen. I'm on the fast track to diabetes, and heart failure because for my height I am dangerously obese. And even if every single health test on the internet didn't tell me so, I would know something is wrong because I can feel it in the core of my being. So is this just the fallen world finally catching up with me, or is this still something I'm meant to fight, even possibly win?