Ok, so here I am pregnant and just like any other new experience for me I research it, read about it, check out the internet and ask lots of questions.
The major thing I am learning is this
Every woman is different. Every baby is different. Every pregnancy is different.
What this means for me is:
1) We're unique so I don't need to worry about if I'm the "right" size/shape/color (yep your skin can change color, crazy right?)
2) Nobody else in the entire world is having, or has ever had this exact same experience
3) I'm not going to be afraid about weight gain/loss; movement inside my womb; how the delivery will go; or all the other crazy fears that can attack the mind of a mommy to be
It's all a new wonderful miracle and God is perfectly in control.
And that is the truth that I will keep saying, and believing even when I wake up with nightmares about my baby dying, feel fat and ugly, look like a whale, can't find clothes to fit, don't feel my baby move for another 2 months, or whatever fearful, scary things that just naturally come along with this adventure (they're part of the package).
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Time...
Wow it's been a long time, a lot has changed, and a lot is still the same
I have a new job, I'm working as a church secretary and even though pastor's can be as demanding as doctor's my heart is different in this place. I know that I serve the good of the Body and I get more fulfillment when I serve the Body than almost anything else I do.
My desires for the future remain, and while Jake and I have so much that stands in the way of actually achieving the future we know that nothing is bigger than God and so we live with that hope.
I'm pregnant, by sometime next May I should be holding a little dependent life in my arms wondering what to do with it, and if I'm crazy for having wanted this challenge.
My husband loves me, as always ... his care, concern, and overall provision for us is such a blessing to my heart... his love inspires love in me... I think that is the most overwhelming thing about love. Genuine love when given inspires love to be returned.
My world has been shaken in a lot of ways in the last 6 months that are impossible to go into right now but I'm looking back on it with awe for what God has revealed of Himself in those months, and how He has made Himself real. I think the biggest thing has been that God's timing and mine almost never line up, but He's the boss and He knows when the timing is right in a much more fine tuned way than I ever could.
I have a new job, I'm working as a church secretary and even though pastor's can be as demanding as doctor's my heart is different in this place. I know that I serve the good of the Body and I get more fulfillment when I serve the Body than almost anything else I do.
My desires for the future remain, and while Jake and I have so much that stands in the way of actually achieving the future we know that nothing is bigger than God and so we live with that hope.
I'm pregnant, by sometime next May I should be holding a little dependent life in my arms wondering what to do with it, and if I'm crazy for having wanted this challenge.
My husband loves me, as always ... his care, concern, and overall provision for us is such a blessing to my heart... his love inspires love in me... I think that is the most overwhelming thing about love. Genuine love when given inspires love to be returned.
My world has been shaken in a lot of ways in the last 6 months that are impossible to go into right now but I'm looking back on it with awe for what God has revealed of Himself in those months, and how He has made Himself real. I think the biggest thing has been that God's timing and mine almost never line up, but He's the boss and He knows when the timing is right in a much more fine tuned way than I ever could.
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