I knit...

Okay so knitting is not on anyone's list of truly cool past-times, but I like it because it gives me time to think and feel productive at the same time. Plus it's helpful when you want to make your daughter a cute hat... at least I thought it would be, however that would take skill as well as time and, well, apparently I just don't have the skill.


If she had a little blue shirt and yellow pants she could work for travelocity as the gnome's body double, seriously the little red hat stands up off of her head and is about three times too big for her. I was going for the adorable too long stocking hat look, and ended up with an elf.




Hat number 2 (I failed so miserably the first time I figured it couldn't get any worse) looks like it was made as part of an Easter costume, for the rainbow colored Bunny... don't have pictures yet, but I will and I just might post them here because it seems that regardless of how I attempt to sabotage her my little darling is adorable anyway!



Update: to add insult to injury my mom came over and whipped up this darling little topper in just a couple of hours... as you can see she is definitely able to pull off any look!

Lady Bug

****WARNING*********************************
THIS IS A SENTIMENTALITY ALERT, BE ADVISED THAT READING THIS POST COULD LEAD TO A SLIGHT SUGAR HIGH
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My little girl will be three months old this week
I think I might be obsessed with her
I spend lots of time looking at her, and praying for her
In the last three months life has altered
Things that used to be priorities are no longer
Instead of spending time on the internet
I sit and watch her face, and play with her hands
Rather than talking to my friends (so sorry to all)
I sit on the couch and talk to my girl
I don't care as much about hair/make-up/clothes
I have found a new standard of beauty









She changes daily and I revel in her continued growth
She smiles and reaches for things I'm amazed at how independent she has already become
Each day with her is a gift and I'm so grateful for it

My New Life

My life revolves around a baby now, yes, but really it's so much more than that she is now sharing my home (and my body even still).
In the past I may have had some things to do, errands to run, friends to visit, etc. I would select a time and do it. I was me without even thinking about it, I had my rythm and I knew how to send a text message, and could change the oil in my car if necessary, I could sit down with a book to read for a few hours, and even start and finish a sewing project in one day. All the while the laundry was being done, and I was organizing my kitchen/closet/attic/shed. I was able to move seamlessly from one thing to another without even stopping to eat (I have two hands I could eat on the go if need be).
Then I gave birth to my very own little leech.
Now after weeks of sporadic meals, the occasional trip to the store, and a deep desire to go to bed at 10:30 and get up at 7 without interruption as I strive to get back into the groove of 'real life' I find that I have an enormous obsacle in the form of a tiny person. I adore my daughter, but the reality is that what used to be effortless is now next to impossible, what was once seamless is now disrupted, and what was easy is now gone seemingly forever. I am not complaining simply regretting how easy it was to get out to the store when I didn't have to consider how long I had until I would have to nurse/diaper change again. There is the regular baby routine eat/wake/sleep which is spiced up by the unexpected completely inconsolable crying jag for no apparent reason.
The revelation of my new life is this: Babies do not just tuck into your pocket and come along for the ride while you live your life. It turns out that they are separate individuals, with their own rythm of life, which apparantly has to be decoded and then incorporated into the New Rythm of their parent's lives. It's not all about her, but it's not about me either...

Transition

We are in the home stretch now...
Last night my sister and brother, and one of my friends came over and helped us get more settled into our home. There is so much to do, and I'm too tired to actually do it myself so I asked for help. We got curtains put up, and the baby 'changing table' set up, all of the baby gifts were catalogued, and duplicate gifts were put in a bin to be returned/regifted/sold. All of the Newborn - 3 month clothes are clean and put away waiting for our little one. The baby bed is set up, and our room is pretty well organized as is the bathroom. Jake and Jason got all of our attic storage into the attic (they both worked so hard to get it done, some of the bins were full of books and super heavy). This leaves me with the kitchen, and living room to finish before she comes... not much left out there except decorating and the last details of organizing. I told Jake that I'm really starting to feel like we actually live here which is good.
Even so everything is changing so fast I'm having a hard time keeping up.
I will be done at work on Friday.
Jake's last day at Crossroads is May 7th, and his first day at the new job is May 10th
My Dr hinted today at my 37 week check up that he thinks this baby is going to be a bit early (like maybe around the 6th or so) That's next week people!!
Even if she's on time or late we're only looking at maybe 4 more weeks at the most before she's here.
I'm going from full time office assistant to full time mom
One of the major events in the process of giving birth is Transition it's when you go from laboring to pushing the baby out. It's tough, in fact from what I hear it's the hardest part of the labor and delivery. Harder even than the pushing/delivery. The other day I said out loud that what I'm fearing is 'transition' but I wasn't talking about the stage in labor, I was talking about a stage of life. I'm kind of freaked out about transitioning from who I am now into this nurturing mother person that I'm supposed to just become. There are a lot of unknowns, a lot of change. Jake is ready, he's at peace and comfortable with what he has to do and become. I am not quite there yet... and right now I'm hoping that it will work itself out before I'm in transition with labor...

Cute Travel System

So we have received some really nice gifts for our little Luciana but didn't need them all. Considering the space we have to work with at home we took some things back and decided to use the money that we got back toward a travel system (car seat/stroller) for our little pumpkin.

This is what we got,
the Graco Metrolite...
(so light weight and manageable not to mention cute)...



It was on sale and between a 10% discount, the returned items, and the sale we ended up only spending $50 on this set (Normally over $250 before taxes!!!)!!!

I'm so excited...

Easy...Hard

It's so easy to worry
It's so easy to forget God's faithfulness
It's so easy to think that I'm right
It's so easy to just go my own way
It's so easy to sin that it must be second nature

It's so hard to trust
It's so hard to just believe
It's so hard to surrender
It's so hard to follow
It's so hard to do what is right

There is no goodness in me that is my own, I can't claim it... because I know that if I had a choice I would pick the easy way...

Jake

Can I just say that I am married to the most wonderful man in the whole world... I love him so much... and deserve him so little

Jake is a doer, a finisher, an extremely committed hard worker.

This month we have a lot of tasks that need to be accomplished and they are just preliminary to actually getting ready for the baby. We have to pack, paint, clean and move from our old apartment. We have to finish the bedroom, bathroom, living room, and kitchen (that is every room in the house) and move-in to the new place. All of this before we can start setting up a baby-friendly little home complete with all the baby gadgets (the necessity of which I am currently debating :o).

I am 7 1/2 months pregnant feeling every single one of my 30 weeks and knowing it is going to continue down hill from here for me physically.

All of this ends up meaning that Jake (the doer/finisher/committed-hard-worker) has a lot of pressure on him to do-finish-work hard. He is exhausted and yet gets up every morning goes to work for anywhere from 8-12 hours, comes home from work every night and helps me with basic normal house work, as well as the extra stuff of packing, organizing, and pitching the things we own, or he goes over to the house and works til the wee hours of the morning laying tile, setting cabinets, shopping for appliances, and generally getting all the little details in place for the house to be ready to move into.

Like I said I am married to the most wonderful man in the whole world... I love him so much... and deserve him so little

Moving...

This seems to be the theme of my life right now in one way or another.

Jake and I are moving to a different home...
when I'm about 7 1/2 months pregnant
to a little house with a garage and a yard :o)

I am moving from the work-force to the stay-at-home-force
reducing our income (hence the need for aforementioned move)
increasing my time available to our daughter (and my husband-hopefully)

I am moving from wife to wife/mother
adding another person that I get to pour into
adding to the number of people I would die for

Lucy is moving
she's spent most of the week repositioning herself so she can kick new places
she has been kicking just above my belly button all day (the first time she's gone that far 'north')

There's a lot of moving going on lately...
mostly good, but none of it easy...
Just more reason to trust God

My Body

(According to My 17 Year Old Brother)

I'm past the 'awkward-is-she-isn't-she-bump' stage and now into the 'cute-baby-bump' stage...

Nice

baby news...

So we're having a little girl.
Of course Jake and I are both excited, and a little petrified.
Little girls are so precious, and tender and strong.
When you meet a woman with her head on straight,
passionate about life, and emotionally balanced
it is an amazing thing.

But how do you get her from a crying helpless little infant to that strong, balanced, passionate, yet gentle woman?

Obviously maturity is a process
and there are no guarantees that she will be this woman
when she leaves our home,
but we want to give her the tools
to be the best possible version of herself that she can be.
Understanding of course that God has to be at work in her
or we have nothing.
Now following Him (or not) is done in her sight
and she takes part in the consequences of our decisions.

That is probably the scariest part of all that we have to be sensitive to Him regarding our little girl, we have to follow Him for her sake, as well as our own.

God we beg your continued grace...